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DTM Blog - Archive
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
1236 - Some Notes on RAW
Topic: RAW Bytes
Reposted from Twisted Blog of DTM: 
Well... after reading the results for Monday's Impact (which had a main-event between AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy, along with Bischoff getting a hair cut or something), I decided to take a chance and watch RAW, which was to feature three Wrestlemania rewind matches and some contract signing between two old guys. Some quick notes and thoughts on the show:

- Speaking of old guys, here comes Stone Cold to cut another insightful promo. Strange to see the word ass bleeped out here... also strange that Stone Cold didn't really do anything... except talk. Still, it was good to see Austin in good form... as good as he could at this point.

- Big Show defeats John Cena with a punch. Has things gotten so bad that the guy who used to kill people with a chokeslam has to resort to a finisher as lame as a punch? Granted, I'm sure he could punch real good. But punching real good doesn't sell sports-entertainment PPVs. Other than that... well, it's a Cena match. You Cena One Match, You Cena Nuff.

- Maryse beats Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly and more interchangeable Divas show up to have a catfight or something... I don't know. I was barely paying attention. The only reason I stuck around is because Maryse is quebecois or something.

- Hey, did you know that former WWE Women's Champ Victoria and current TNA Knockout Tara Lisa Marie commented on her apparent snub on her former employer's list of 25 most impactful women? I got a quick look at the list and... wow, some names just don't belong. That's for another blog post.

- Chris Jericho deliberately loses the match against Shawn Michaels by counting himself out... only to get ambushed by Edge. A semi-interesting match, but really meh. The truly sad thing is that I was more intrigued by a three-way match between a bunch of guys I barely recognized than I was a match between two guys who, despite being capable of putting on great matches, have already wrestled each other more times than I can count.

- The match between HHH and RKO ended in a no-contest when Ted DiBiase Jr. and Cody Runnels interfered. Oh yeah, the irish guy showed up too.

- The contract is signed between Vince and Bret (a no-holds-barred match, no doubt not featuring the return of Zeus) and Bret reveals that his leg is just fine - the whole injury having been a staged attempt to put Vince in a false sense of superiority. I guess if you saw that whole deal and though it was real, then you're an idiot. I guess Vince isn't a genius because he never saw that coming.

Overall... this is your usual RAW show. A great big glass of MEH.

Posted by dtm666 at 9:45 AM EDT
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
1235 - Thoughts on TNA's Impact... WHAT?
Mood:  irritated
Topic: RAW Bytes

Yes, this past Monday, rather than watching two hours of WWE RAW building up towards the climatic Cena vs. McMahon match (that sucked), I decided to give TNA the benefit of the doubt and tune in to their debut episode of Monday Nitro... er, I mean, Monday Night Impact.

Unsurprisingly, Impact pulled a 1.0 rating while WWE pulled a 3.x rating. So much for the war, huh?

But what about the show itself? Surely, TNA must have learned from their fiasco on January 4 (their first Monday show) and produced a much better show, right? Surely, they have come up with the best possible card to steal away WWE's massive audience... right?


Some quick thoughts, in no particular order:

- So they tease the giveaway of the Hogan/Abyss vs Flair/Styles main event at the start of the show... then Sting makes his return and beats up the good guys (that would be Hogan/Abyss) and Flair/Styles join in. Hogan then declares they'll have a match with No-DQs or something. And of course, Hogan/Abyss win that match with Jeff Hardy later making his return to TNA... two months after making his return to TNA... WHAT THE FUCK?

- And oh yeah, whenever he gets the chance, Abyss shows off his WWE Hall of Fame ring... in your dreams, Abyss. 

- RVD makes his "long-awaited" debut by beating Sting in a quick match... and then Sting beats up RVD for 10 minutes before getting into a scuffle with Hulk Hogan. Way to push your new signee, guys. FUCKING GENIUS.

- Doug Williams retained his X Division title over Christopher Daniels and Kazarian in a pretty decent match. Quite possibly the only real highlight in the entire show, which is a disappointment because it shows how much these guys really figure into the equation when they're being pushed aside to make time for the old farts. Of course, Bischoff soonafter declares that Williams will defend his title against Shannon Moore, who still has that stupid punk look to him... meh, it's better than 3 Count or Mattitude, I guess.

- Some ladies wrestle for some tag titles or something. I really don't pay too much attention... but if it's any consolation, these women can actually put on a watchable match, which is more than I can say for the interchangeable Barbie dolls calling themselves Divas.

- So when Jeff Jarrett isn't flipping burgers or cleaning bathrooms, he's having horrible matches with Beer Money. If you can even call it a match...

- Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman discuss a match at a PPV... I dose off.

I mean, seriously... THIS is what TNA pulls out of their collective asses for Monday Night Dominance? THIS is the best you've got?

This show sucked. It sucked major, major ass.

And the really sad thing? This ISN'T the last time we're going to see Hogan in the ring... not by a fucking long shot.

So next week, Stone Cold Steve Austin is guest-hosting RAW. Yeah, I'm going to stick with RAW. I'd rather sit through the same, boring shit than two hours of mishandled garbage.

TNA has great talent there... they just have no fucking clue how to use it.

At all.


Posted by dtm666 at 7:12 PM EST
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
1225 - Tyson
Topic: RAW Bytes

So last night's show featured Mike Tyson as a guest host, which made this the second RAW show that I stayed up until the end to watch. Of course, next week's hosts prove that this is going to be the last one until Shatner comes along a couple weeks later.

Some quick thoughts:

- Tyson opens things up, where Sheamus comes out and tells Tyson to call the match off. This is quickly followed by Randy Orton, and John Cena, and Coffee Kingston retorting that they deserve com. Somewhere along the way, John Cena references the various characters of Mike Tyson's Punch Out, which actually made me smile a bit... although these days Tyson looks less like Tyson and more like Mr. Sandman... oh well.

- They have a match in the Divas tournament that I don't really care about. Seriously, TNA's show was shit, for the most part, but at least they have a couple women who can actually perform good matches when they get the chance.

- Hey, by the way, nice crack by Cody Rhodes on The Marine: "My fifth-grade graduation video is superior to the Marine!" I haven't seen the video and yet I'm tempted to agree.

- HBK and Tyson talk and somehow this gets turned into a tag-team match between DX and Jericho/Tyson. Jesus, didn't they do a fucking match LAST WEEK where if Jericho lost, he's gone from RAW FOREVER? What's the fucking point of having a stipulation match if he's NEVER going to go the fuck away?

- [Who The Fuck Is] Jack Swagger challenges anyone to toss him over the top rope. Challenge accepted and won by Santino Marella of all people. Good show, Santino. Definitely moving up in the world...

- Randy Orton wins the Triple Threat match over Cena and Coffee, thus earning a shot against Sheamus for the title at the Royal Rumble... lame.

- DX beats Jericho after Tyson reveals a DX shirt and knocks out Jericho. This was almost predictable the minute the match was announced, but it came off good so no real complaints.

So overall, this show was okay-ish. Not much more than that. 

Posted by dtm666 at 6:43 AM EST
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
1168 - Abuse to children is funny...
Topic: RAW Bytes

Only a couple noteworthy bits to comment on about last night's RAW:

- Nice to see Sgt. Slaughter stick to his patriotic roots and completely villify himself before the Calgary crowd. Nothing like a good ol' US vs Canada cheap heat to make an instant villain for the night.

- Shawn as a chef? Not a good idea, not unless you want grease fires and little girls getting their teeth knocked in with a superkick... In any case, be glad it wasn't Dude Love - that Sweet Shin Music might have done more damage...

Posted by dtm666 at 6:46 AM EDT
Thursday, 30 July 2009
1166 - TMZ shows off bits of HHH's birthday bash - post-RAW
Topic: RAW Bytes

Because I'm lazy, here's the addy to copy/paste:

Sadly, HHH didn't get a dose of Shaq Fu as a birthday present

Posted by dtm666 at 10:18 AM EDT
Thursday, 18 June 2009
1146 - Donald Trump "buys" RAW
Topic: RAW Bytes

Been a while, but might as well comment on this:

- Donald Trump "buying" RAW just HAS to be a desperate attempt at getting back the show's sagging ratings... even though Trump probably won't show up for the most part during the show's run and will probably assign a general manager person, thus making the whole experiment pointless. Bottom line, expect this to last a few weeks before Trump sells it back to Vince for five dollars or something.

- Really enjoyed the Triple-Threat World Title match as well as the Jericho/Mysterio match, while I pretty much slept through the RAW portions of the show. Seems like Smackdown is finally starting to become the better show... it'll be a while before it hits 2002 levels, but it's getting there.

- Speaking of sleep, Triple H wins another title shot against the new champion... Randy Orton. Wow, I honestly don't know what's going to happen in their match next week.

- Commercial-free RAW? Probably not here. I expect a couple Molson ads and more "greatness" from Jack Korpella.

Anyway, enough waffle. I'm going back to bed.

Posted by dtm666 at 6:58 AM EDT
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
1137 - RAW Bites...
Topic: RAW Bytes

Last night's RAW offering from LA was actually... good. Didn't expect that, did you? Anyway, here're my thoughts.

- The show opens with McMahon and the Nuggets owner bickering over the whole deal in Denver, with McMahon getting all kinds of cheap shots in while the other guy just takes it and looks like a fool.

- Santino says his sister would fight Viki for the Miss Wrestlemania crown in a Hogpen match at the next PPV. What is the point of all this? I don't know, but it's good to see Santino show off his comedic dukes.

- Ric Flair gets a beating from  Randy Blowton... before being saved by Batista.

- Also the return of Kennedy Kennedy. Kennedy.

- Kofi Kingston wins a match to become No. 1 contender to Montel Vontavious Porter's US championship. Both guys are cordial to say the least. It's nice to see a championship match between two guys being respectful. Of course, this will probably be ruined by one of the guys turning heel unnecessarily.

- The ten-man match has each five-man team dressed in basketball jerseys representing the two NBA opponents taking place in the other arena. Of all of them, Batista is the only one in full Lakers garb, complete with shorts. I guess his grudge with basketball is over.

- Oh yeah - the Laker team of wrestlers win. Which is funny because the actual Denver team won the basketball game. Yeah, about that grudge...


Posted by dtm666 at 6:49 AM EDT
Monday, 9 March 2009
1113 - RAW Byte: DON'T DO IT, FLAIR!
Topic: RAW Bytes

- Ric Flair makes another appearance in distracting Chris Jericho. Please, Ric. STAY HOME! YOU'RE FUCKING RETIRED FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! STAY RETIRED!

(2011 Update: So much for that. Thank you, Mr. Bollea, for bringing Ric Flair back into active competition... that was sarcasm, by the way.) 

- Randy Orton's at home... yay.

- So Big Show's prediction came true: it's going to be a three-way at Mania for the World Title... yay.

Posted by dtm666 at 10:43 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 16 December 2011 1:24 PM EST
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
1106 - RAW Punts
Topic: RAW Bytes

Randy Orton beats up Shane McMahon some more, RKOs Stephanie, and brings out Trips, who's irate dammit! What a heel that Orton is... not for systematically taking down McMahons, but for bringing Triple H back on RAW.

Aw man, this show is gonna suck again, isn't it?

(2011 Update: Funny how that works. Just this past summer, there was a pretty good story surrounding CM Punk and his then-expiring contract. On the guy's last night, he beat John Cena and walked out WWE Champion. WWE had people talking about their product, which had been made relevant once again... and then they decide to bring back Triple H and put the focus on him... and indeed, the show did start sucking again to the point where I'm barely watching the current Johnny Ace era of RAW.) 

Meanwhile, Edge gloats and Cena calls for a rematch. Cryme Time loses another match. Chris Jericho beats on Piper. I generally don't care and go to bed. But seriously, this was a nothing show. I might check out the PPV replay, however.

Posted by dtm666 at 6:51 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 16 December 2011 1:31 PM EST
Monday, 2 February 2009
1098 - NO!
Topic: RAW Bytes

So I'm going to bed now, but I just wanted to comment on a couple things before I ignore the rest of RAW.

- A message to Ric Flair: DON'T COME BACK. STAY AS FAR AWAY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE! You've had a great, graceful exit last year and one of the more classier endings to a long, significant career. Don't fuck it up with another cheap payday that will result in a inferior comeback match. I'm begging you, man. Don't prostitute your career like Mick Foley did. Merci et salut la visite... or something.

- For a brief moment, I was actually rooting for Randy to give Nipple H a punt before Shane ruined the whole thing. At first, I attributed this to my having issues, but I prefer to go with the logic that anything that gets Stephanie, her shill voice, and wooden acting off my TV for a good long time is perfectly acceptable. Alas, it was not to be.

- Another sidenote is this whole Jericho/Rourke thing. Here's hoping Rourke doesn't wrestle at Wrestlemania... alas, it's still going to happen, isn't it?

That's it. I go to bed.

Posted by dtm666 at 10:40 PM EST
Monday, 26 January 2009
1094 - RAW So FAr
Topic: RAW Bytes

Randy Orton comes out with lawyers, reveals that he has IED, and threatens to sue if he's fired. He also threatens to sue if he doesn't get his contracted title shot that he won last night. He then apologizes to Mr. McMahon for punting him in the head... if I'm making this sound drab, it's on purpose. They're selling this whole bit where knocking out Vince is this unholy thing that is almost sacreligious... and yet the main inductee of this year's Hall of Fame is a guy who made a living beating the crap out of McMahon every chance he gets. How times have changed...

Posted by dtm666 at 9:38 PM EST
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
1082 - Meh...
Topic: RAW Bytes

Show was nothing special, really. You had a tag match with Cena and HBK beating Orton and Jericho, you had an IC title match that ended in a DQ (and will result in a re-match next week), and of course the news we've all been waiting for: the return of Mr. McMahon.

Yeah, that sounds like fun...


Posted by dtm666 at 6:28 AM EST
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
1050 - RAW Bytes
Topic: RAW Bytes

So apparently Cena has yet to swap the Big Gold Belt for his usual spinner garbage. I give it about a couple weeks before that happens.

Regarding the tournament... why call it an Intercontinental Championship tournament when the top prize is a shot at the champion himself rather than the title? Who names these things and why are they allowed to live?

So they're bringing back the Slammy awards... wow, that's so random.

The McMahon kids... ugh. Please go away... PLEASE GO AWAY! BRING BACK MIKE ADAMLE! At least he was inoffensive... for a time... but definitely more tolerable than the kids...

That's it for now.

Posted by dtm666 at 6:28 AM EST
Thursday, 23 October 2008
1029 - Yes, I really want to watch this PPV.
Topic: RAW Bytes

Watched a bit of RAW and while I haven't much to say, I'll say what I can... ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.... *snore* ZZZZZzzzzzz....

*wakes up*

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I miss anything?

I couldn't stay awake Monday - the show bored me to a point where I actually felt like going to bed much earlier. I think that takes some effort when a show actually puts me to sleep and trust me when I say I usually have a hard time getting myself into sleep central.

So if RAW has anything to celebrate, it'll probably be that. Because the ratings (from what I've heard) won't be the source of joy this week.

Posted by dtm666 at 7:00 AM EDT
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
978 - RIP Rey Mysterio
Topic: RAW Bytes would like to extend condolences to the family of Rey Mysterio for their recent loss. Meanwhile, DTM would like to extend condolences to anyone who actually bought that.

John Cena and Batista, one week after winning gold they didn't need, lost it back to the other guys... then got into a fight. What a buildup to a bigtime match.

CM Punk (the World champ, you know) loses a drinking contest to JBL by tossing whiskey in Bradshaw's face. Not very sporting.

WWE got honored by some award group. Considering what else is on these days, it's a worthy choice... that WAS sarcasm.


Posted by dtm666 at 6:25 AM EDT
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
974 - An Adamle Original... A Shitty Show
Topic: RAW Bytes

Some quick notes:

- Looks like Mike Adamle is going to be one of those paper GMs with no personality whatsoever. Man, I have never seen anyone bore me faster than this guy... even Triple H seems exciting in comparison.

- Please fire Layla. Nothing against the girl, but if all she does is dance (badly) and be a MacGuffin for Jamie Noble to do stupid stuff, then it's time to dump her. And poor Regal is stuck in the middle of this mess.

- So we now have a Summerslam World Title match and it's a match we've already seen on free TV. Seriously, what was the point?

- Cena and Batista are the new World Tag Team champions. Further proof that WWE simply does not care about their tag titles. Absolutely painful to watch... almost as bad as watching Cena be WWE champion.

Well, that was well worth sleeping early.

Posted by dtm666 at 6:39 AM EDT
Monday, 28 July 2008
965 - New Raw General Manager: MIKE ADAMLE
Topic: RAW Bytes

Fuck this show. And I had such high hopes.

On the bright side, CM Punk is still WORLD CHAMPION.

(2011 Update: Years later, we'd have Johnny Ace... and suddenly, I'm yearning for the Mike Adamle years.) 

Posted by dtm666 at 11:36 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 16 December 2011 2:06 PM EST
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
957 - Why, yes. I did try the Pepsi machine. He wasn't there, either.
Topic: RAW Bytes


Shane and Stephanie plea one last time for order to be maintained or else actions will be taken. Oh God, don't tell me you're bringing Triple H back to RAW. The show's actually starting to get good.

(2011 Update: Why is that whenever the idea of HHH coming back is entertained in some fashion, I automatically assume the show is going suck as a result? It can't be a coincidence.)


Actually, I don't have much to comment on. I had a really bad case of indigestion last night that prevented me from paying full attention to the show, but at least the show wasn't boring. I don't like Punk's chances of walking out of GAB as champion, though.

Another attempt at making Kane an interesting character... yeah, this is going to go over well. Let's face it: Kane was at his best when he was wearing a mask. Now he's like a second-rate Undertaker.

Finally, John Cena gets run over by a car. If only this were to lead to a nine-month leave of absence like it did that other fellow...

Overall, decent RAW. Not amazing, but still decent.

Posted by dtm666 at 6:40 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 16 December 2011 2:13 PM EST
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
932 - CM Punk Retains World Title
Topic: RAW Bytes

So JBL challenges CM Punk to a World title match and suddenly things look blue. I wouldn't have put it past WWE to hotshot the title to Bradshaw in quick fashion. But something wonderful happened at the end of RAW; CM Punk, the new World champion, actually beat JBL and retained his title. When I saw this happen, I almost shit my shorts. It was that good of a feeling... well, not that good of a feeling, but it was great nonetheless.

This new Dibiase/Rhodes tag-team combination looks like it might go places. We haven't done a generational deal in quite some time and to have two guys doing it is a twist. Also, I actually enjoyed Koffee Kingston's last couple matches, as he offers something different and dynamic to his matches. Let's not forget Chris Jericho, who always delivers the awesome.

All in all, I actually enjoyed RAW. I mean, I genuinely enjoyed the show for the first time in almost... whenever. It seems like WWE is finally getting their shit together and pushing some new faces to the forefront. Again, I don't see this happening in the long run, but my god, what a wonderful show this was. New faces holding championships, just absolutely amazing. Top notch, kids.

Thumbs up.

Posted by dtm666 at 6:20 AM EDT
Monday, 30 June 2008
931 - CM Punk wins World Title
Topic: RAW Bytes
Wow. That didn't take long. Good to know there's a new World champion not named John Cena, Edge, Batista, Undertaker, or Triple Ahh... um, yeah... well he's not on RAW anymore so... yeah.

Posted by dtm666 at 9:43 PM EDT

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